Thursday, June 11, 2009

Open Letter

Addendum #2: I've received some concerning feedback about the original blog post, so I truncated it. Like I said earlier, I'm beyond grateful for our customers, as they're the ones keeping us going through this tough economic time. Consider this a small rant against the rare badly-behaved.

Dear Maserati Douchebag,

We should have known better than to seat you and your three equally demanding friends on Saturday night after the scene you threw the previous week for not getting a table outside like you wanted, then calling the manager an asshole and saving some choice words for the hostess. Fortunately for you, there was a different manager on Saturday night, and though you were seated promptly, you still demanded to be seated in an area we stopped seating for the night. You won the manager over by promising to take really good care of your server, who got to spend the rest of the evening running her ass off between her given section and your totally out-of-the-way table.

Maybe in your hometown of Douchebaggerton, a $35 tip on a $335 check equates to "taking really good care of your server". Here in your chosen city and country, a 10 percent tip, on top of being demanding and calling people names, immediately qualifies you as blacklisted. The cherry on top was not tipping the valet when he pulled up your precious Maserati. Hate to break it to you, but showing everyone how wealthy you are without sharing the wealth with the people who take care of you will never make your man parts any bigger.

Please, please, PLEASE come back into the restaurant; it would make my day to watch you get kicked out.

9 comments:

Paikimin said...

This happens where I work too...Sometimes I wonder if it's just by ignorance or on the contrary with total consciousness but no respect for the restaurant staff that people do such things... Maybe it's both.

ml said...

time to drop the hammer!

Matt said...

I remember this one time at a place I used to work a couple stayed for an hour after we closed. Three kitchen staff had to stay in case they ordered dessert and of course for the meal once they got around to ordering. I vividly recall all 3 of us hovering at the little portal window in the doors cursing out the table. Like you said, hours are posted to restrict late arrivals.

On a less bitter note, thank you for writing this blog. Aside from lincook415 it is the only one I check with some regularity in hopes of an update, which never disappoints!

The Guilty Carnivore said...

Love these posts. Keep 'em coming.

Carrie said...

it is times like these when i'm glad i'm pastry, and work in a bakery :)

Ingrid said...

@Paikimin: I think it's a mixture of all of the above. Frankly I don't think we'll ever have the answer to this illogical nonsense!

@ml: HA! When the day comes...

@Matt and @Guilty Carnivore: Thanks! It's encouraging to hear that.

@Carrie: I love being on the hot line, I really do, but sometimes I envy my friends in baking/pastry :).

too-broke-anyhow said...

Clearly time to stay home and do my own cookin' - restaurant folks in Portland are always bitchin' and especially in NW - you can always get an office job, or would that not be enough fun and creativity for you?

Boogie Man Montoya said...

@too-broke: Oh please, like you've never bitched about your place of employment before. Nobody's ever completely happy with their job, and blowing off a little steam comes with the territory. So, hard-working cooks aren't allowed to complain about the douchebags of the world? Seems to me, the afforementioned douchebags tend to ruin every working environment, so why get testy when the people who serve you food get upset about it?

You wanna cook at home? Great, more power to you buddy. But don't play it off like your sole reason for doing it is because of the exhausted frustrations of one passionate cook.

@Ingrid. I'd forgo the truncation, and let the rant shine in all it's fantastic glory. I figure if I've been enough of a prick to do any or all of these things, I probably have the capacity to read about it. The rest of the world can do the same.

Ingrid said...

@Boogie Man: Thanks for the backup, but I think too-broke is right; I should TOTALLY get an office job. I obviously hate cooking and people so much that I've devoted three years' worth of blogging to how into it I am, how much I love it, and how lucky I feel to be doing it for a living. The logic is astounding!

Wish it were so easy to leave it in its original state, but alas, it's far too complicated to do so.